Children of the class of 1999...

...use bum cream. Or lubricant as it is more commonly known. I know what you are thinking, there is no time for lubricant, let me tell you, there is always time for lubricant. I realise that is an irregular start to my regular blog. I was listening to the Baz Luhman "classic" Sunscreen recently and it made me look back at photos of myself and realise how much possibility laid before me and how fabulous I really looked. I was not as fat as I imagined. Speaking of fat, it's slowly coming off. A week of having the runs will do that. I recommend sickness as an effective method of losing weight, plus it simultaneously increases the profitability of the air freshener industry, one that has seen a decline in recent years. Just kidding...air fresheners have been booming for years.

Larks aside I have been feeling pretty nostalgic of late, I remember when I used to really be in to nostalgia (that's a little one) just looking back at old pictures of myself it makes me aware that I probably have a bad rep for taking cameras just about everywhere I go (you should see the pics that don't make it to facebook!) but now it pays off. Every picture holds a memory and I am instantly transported back to "happier times" Yeah I view those memories with rose tinted glasses, the luxury of the passage of time, but going through I see smiles on a lot of faces and when I finally die I just want to think that I made a few people smile along the way. After all, once you are gone you only really live on in the memories of those people whose lives touched. Not that it matters I am living to 100 and going to celebrate cricketer style!

So I have assignments due in spades in the next few months, but I am coming closer and closer to the end game. Absolutely loving writing at the moment, not the essays, but the creative stuff. Working on a story about an autistic kid with ADHD, it is hopefully going to be a comedy. So I might post it up here when it is finished. I have tons of stories I could post on here actually, might pop one up next week, what's the worst that could happen? Well I suppose the very worst that could happen is that I broke my right wrist and my balls get so massive they pop. Yep, that would be the very worst thing that could happen, either that or West Ham could lose when I go to see them. I think I would choose the wrist and ball combo, less emotionally draining.

I think it is important when you are blogging to touch on current affairs. I love the fact that people are pretending they really give a crap about Whitney Houston. I don't. I think I’d be more bothered if the guy who does the voice over for E4 died. (I love that guy) Whilst it is a bit crass to talk ill of the dead she was pretty dire wasn't she? Maybe I am not her target audience, because I have a Y chromosome, oh yeah and ears, two of them. I generally don’t give a crap when celebs die, most of them piss me off anyway. I don’t give two figs about the Kerry Catona’s and Katie Price’s of this world and I am becoming less tolerant of wanky celebrity nobodies. Their antics bore me .I think if I am being truly analytical I would realise that the notion of celebrity reviles me so much because I relate to the desperate need for popularity. At some point in my life I am going to stop giving a crap about people liking me. I can’t wait, because being nice all the time is a mugs game. I guess it is important if you leave your house, you know, socially, but I don’t really. It’s just exhausting being nice, so bollocks to the lot of you! No not you, I like you, please keep reading…Love me!!!